Williamizing: Episode 2 – The Historie of Robert the Sponge


By Rameez M Virji


By William Shakespeare


Scene i

A Portrait


Enter Pirate, Robert, and Children.

PIRATE: Be thou all prepar’d?

ALL: ‘Tis so, Lord.

PIRATE: Ottis Media! Repeat thou!

ALL: ‘Tis so, dear Lord, ‘tis so.

PIRATE: O! Who doth live in a

Exotic apple,

Live under Poseidon’s tomb?

ALL: It must be Robert the Sponge,

He who hath the quadrilateral trousers!

PIRATE: Indeed! To water he is all-engrossing,

Splattered with jaundice!

O, has he the holed bodice of a coral?

ALL: He does so, Robert the Sponge!

He who hath the angled pantaloons!

PIRATE: ‘Tis nonsense of the seas, which you wish?

ALL: True, ‘tis Robert the Sponge.

He who hath the square denims!

PIRATE: If that be true,

Then shalt thou all

Belly thyselves, flounder,

Like Pisces!

ALL: True, ‘tis Robert the Sponge.

He who hath the quadrangular pants!

PIRATE: Prepare thou for Robert the Sponge,

He who hath the tetragonal chinos! Ha!

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October 18, 2010 at 7:26 pm | Posted in: Blog, Funny | No comments

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